Take The Test!
How nice are you? Circle the number that best describes in general how you think, feel, or act:
1 = Rarely/Never 2 = Sometimes 3 = Often 4 = Always
___ 2. I feel guilty whenever I say no to family members or disappoint them.
___ 3. I avoid burdening family members with my problems.
___ 4. I put family members' needs before mine at my own expense.
___ 5. I take care of friends more than they take care of me.
___ 6. I feel guilty and bad whenever I say no to friends or disappoint them.
___ 7. I am there for friends even when they're not there for me.
___ 8. I put friends' needs before mine at my own expense.
___ 9. Even though it stresses me out, I push myself to give my all at work.
___ 10. I pick up co-workers'/bosses' slack and rarely get credit for it.
___ 11. People at work take advantage of my good and giving nature.
___ 12. I stress myself out by saying yes to people when I know I should say no.
___ 13. I feel in the wrong and apologize automatically even when I'm not at fault.
___ 14. I keep silent about what's on my mind rather than speak up.
___ 15. I feel that whatever I do isn't enough with friends, family, at work, and at play.
___ 16. If I don't do something perfectly, I feel like a failure.
___ 17. I'm mortified when I make mistakes because of what people will think of me.
___ 18. I have an overwhelming need for people to like/love/accept/approve of me.
___ 19. I avoid making waves.
___ 20. I go out of my way not to hurt people's feelings and end up being dishonest.
Here's how to score this little test. Give yourself 4 points for each Always answer, 3 for Often, 2 for Sometimes, and 1 for Rarely/Never, then add up your points.
Now take a gander at the chart below and see where your score falls:
60-80 -- Go make yourself a crown of thorns. You're killing yourself with kindness!
45-59 -- Find some thorns and register for a crown-making class by midnight.
25-44 -- Get yourself a "nice-ometer" and monitor yourself extremely carefully.
20-24 -- Being too nice is not your problem.